I am very pleased to unveil a new series, Enchanted Spaces, which is all about perceiving space in a more magical way. I’m in the middle of tidying and revamping my house, and will focus on a concept from a different fantasy novel for each room. Bear with me here: I’m not a designer or a photographer, just a girl with a passion for re-imagining space. First up: the living room.
I have also been changing up the rooms of my home to reflect different climates. The feel for my living room is desert. I had considered doing a before and after picture, but the problem with this was that I am a firm advocate in slow decorating and wabi sabi.
Slow Decorating is a concept I got from a lovely book called Simple Matters, although I am not sure that she uses the term by name. The idea is to buy simple, quality pieces that will stand the test of time and not to rush one’s decorating or to follow a trend. Think of a simple, quality, shaker-style wood dresser found at a thrift store that will never go out of style.
Wabi Sabi is a Japanese concept based on three principals:
- Nothing lasts.
- Nothing is finished.
- Nothing is perfect.
Think of a beautifully simple old cracked pot that has many stories to tell. That’s Wabi Sabi. Pinterest is full of examples.
So, needless to say, there was no “drastic makeover” to show. The room is tidier and cleaner, things are in slightly different places, and I swapped a few things from my bedroom and this room. Most of the belongings I have I accumulated slowly over a long period of time; some actually belonged to my mother and grandmother and even my great-grandmother (for more on my “stuff story” read this post). The only new items I acquired for this reveal were a tapestry of my mom’s that my sister gave me as it didn’t match her stuff and a beautiful tree branch that I found on a walk.
The concepts of slow decorating and wabi sabi reminded me a of the book (and film) Tuck Everlasting, which is precious if you haven’t read/seen it. It is about a family that doesn’t age, and about the importance of growth, change, and the juxtaposition of life and death. In particular, I thought of this quote:
“Everything’s a wheel, turning and turning, never stopping. The frogs is part of it, and the bugs, and the fish, and the wood thrush, too. And people. But never the same ones. Always coming in new, always growing and changing, and always moving on. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. That’s the way it is.” ― Natalie Babbitt, Tuck Everlasting
My husband recently asked me why I read the same books over and over again. I explained to him that it wasn’t the books that changed; it was me. Therefore, I perceived the books differently and picked up different things about them. Similarly, I don’t look for drastic changes in my spaces, but as I change, I pick up different nuances, swap a coat of paint, add a new pitcher from a trip, take out that shelf that no longer speaks to me.
So you see, to me a space is something that is never remaining the same, but always evolving, moving, changing, and being re-imagined and perceived differently. It is a sense of growth that really makes a place interesting, but slow growth. I want my spaces to grow with me, neither faster nor slower than my own personal journey, because they are a part of me and a reflection of my own life story.
Any thoughts about your relationship to space? What does your space say about you, or what would you like it to say?
I am re-sharing this post from my old blog because I will be referencing it frequently for an upcoming new series, Enchanted Spaces, that is all about re-imagining home. This post explains a bit about my unorthodox “stuff story.” Enjoy!
Let’s talk about baggage. No, not emotional baggage. Physical baggage. When my grandmother died, all of her belongings and her mother’s belongings, including several rooms’ worth of large pieces of furniture and boxes and boxes of glass and china, went to my mother. A few years after my mother died (when my father moved), all of that stuff, along with many of my mother’s belongings, were divvied out between my sister and me, which meant that I ended up with half of four generations of furniture, china, photos, quilts, clothing, and more at the bright young age of 23.
What I’ve discovered is that I am the master of manipulating myself into keeping things that I don’t want or need, much of which have no emotional or monetary value for me (insert dramatic Hoarders soundtrack here). Here is my logic: “Oh, but there is a label on this handkerchief that says it came from my grandmother’s friend’s mother; I can’t get rid of that!” Or “Well, I don’t actually like this sweater, but my mom wore it at some point in time so I should keep it,” or “This doesn’t hold any fond memories for me, but I feel like I need to keep it anyway.”
I have gotten rid of things here and there, so it never felt like this was a serious emotional problem deeply affecting my quality of life, but at some point I looked around my home and realized that almost none of my belongings were actually things that I picked out or purchased myself. Truthfully, I have accumulated the type of belongings that many people don’t have until their late fifties, and even then have had much more time and emotional space to cull through them. Most of my furniture was willed to me. Most of my clothes to this day are hand-me-downs from someone.
On the one hand, my gratefulness for having been given these items far overpowers any frustration that I have with it, and truly, there are many things that I have that I absolutely love. Still, the strange thing is that at it has taken me until my late twenties to stop and ask what my personal style truly is, and what I want my belongings to look like, or even what kinds of belongings I want and need in my life. I used to believe that having these items was saving me money as well, and I’m sure some of the smaller, more useful items were, but the thing is, items that take up physical space mean more cost in moving and storing those items, especially for someone who has moved several times like I have.
I recently read the popular book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo. I won’t go into everything the book says (you can read it if you haven’t already) but there were four pieces that I took away that were the most helpful for this type of baggage:
1. Only keep things in your life if they “spark joy” in you.
2. When you get rid of belongings, thank them for the place they have had in your life and the things they have taught you. Sometimes an item’s purpose is to teach you what you don’t like.
3. A gift’s purpose is to show the gratitude and love of the giver. Once the gift has been given, it’s purpose has been filled.
4. If you are keeping something purely for sentimental reasons, consider taking a picture of the item instead.
I am now immersed in a deep process of tidying up. And here is where I have created a method that Marie Kondo may possibly hate: the guilt box. It’s label literally says “Stuff I Feel Guilty Getting Rid Of.” Everything in that box are things I am keeping not because I love them, or because I find them to be useful, or because they have great sentimental value, but simply because I feel guilty getting rid of them.
What’s the point, you say? Well, the point is that everything outside of that 2x3x1 box in my life brings me joy. I’m allowing myself that much baggage, that much guilt, that much “but what if I need thing X?” or “but so-and-so really loved thing Y.” In allowing just a little bit, I can quell any anxiety, guilt, or fear I have about getting rid of other belongings; if I can fit it in the guilt box, I can keep it. And, I’m hoping that by being brutally honest about the reason I’m keeping things, I can become more discerning about what I keep and what I discard.
What I have found through this is that I have a true love for many of the things I have in my life that were given to me, like my grandma’s beautiful quilts, much of my mom’s jewelry, and some absolutely beautiful dresses and cardigans that I was given by my in-laws. I hadn’t noticed how much I appreciated those things before because I hadn’t had the physical and emotional space to savor their beautiful history and fine craftsmanship. Now that I am starting to identify the types of things that bring me joy in life, I am hoping to truly savor my home, and to discerningly bring only things into my space that truly enchant me.
I’ve felt very inspired lately. I always keep a notepad on my bedside table just in case. It sure beats tripping over stuff in the middle of the night trying to find paper.
Well, I was trudging through a pretty dreadful Monday this week when my phone buzzed and I received a notification that Marigold Blooms of By the Wayside had nominated me for The Black Cat Blue Sea Award. What a lovely surprise!
The Black Cat Blue Sea Award is given to bloggers who have written something that appeals to a wide audience and has had the power to move a reader, inspire or just make them smile.
The Rules Are:
- Anybody nominated can nominate up to eight other bloggers.
- The nominee answers three questions posed by the nominator.
- The questions you ask while nominating can be any three questions.
- If any of the questions asked are offensive or the nominee simply does not want to answer, the nominee does not have to answer them to earn the award.
My Answers:
1. What in the last month has touched or inspired you the most?
Michelle Obama’s speech on women. I almost didn’t watch it because I knew it was part of a campaign speech, but I decided to give it a listen after a good friend promoted it and I was deeply moved. Sometimes great wisdom can be found in unexpected places.
2. Is there a book you read recently that you especially enjoyed? Share! Or what is your favorite book or author?
“Enjoyed” is an interesting word. I’ve recently pulled on some galoshes and sludged my way through Joseph Campbell’s The Hero with a Thousand Faces. And boy am I glad I did! It’s one of those books that I knew “in theory” but had never sat down and given a close read. It’s a dense but incredibly insightful look at the power of storytelling and the psychological impact it has had for thousands of years.
3. What advice would you give your younger self?
It is never wrong to stand up for you. You own your own boundaries. You are the author and main character of your own life story.
My Questions:
- What book in your life has influenced or shaped you the most?
- What is one silly thing that has the power to make you truly happy?
- If you could be doing anything anywhere in the world (or elsewhere!) right at this very moment, what would it be?
My Nominees:
No pressure on responding to the questions; just know that I have really enjoyed your content and wanted to share your work:
Be sure to check out what these folks are up to and thanks again to Marigold Blooms; be sure to check out her blog as well. She writes about life’s journey, changes, and how important it is to get off the beaten path.
When I was in elementary school, several of my teachers hosted read-ins. We would bring our sleeping bags to school along with books and snacks and would veg-out all over the floor reading. I have always been a huge fan of read-ins and have had them on the brain now that the weather is cooling down. I wanted to go over a few ground rules in case you are wanting to have your own:
- Pick a stack of books- at least three. Varying genres or topics are best so you can alternate if you get tired of one. If you have trouble switching between books, consider adding some magazines or coloring books to the mix.
- Grab an assortment of snacks and a warm beverage. Tea and chocolate work nicely, also popcorn or ordering pizza, but watch you don’t stain your books!
- Pick a comfortable spot. Pillows and blankets are a must. Consider making a blanket fort.
- Disconnect. Soft music is a nice touch, but avoid other distractions, and particularly make sure to silence or turn off your cell phone and avoid the Internet. Postpone other obligations if possible.
- Enjoy! Your read-in can be as short or as long as you like. You can have a read-in by yourself or in the company of others.
Read-ins also make the perfect snuggly date for your bookworm significant other, a nice parent-child day, or a fun friends day. Consider a read-out as well if the weather is nice, in a pool chair, hammock or tent. Or, go all-out and get a hotel room for a read-in staycation and order room service. Read-ins are one of my favorite ways to slow down and enjoy life’s simple pleasures.
What book(s) are you reading now? Share in the comments below.
