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The Enchanted Outlook

Contentment or Growth?

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Today’s post is more question than answer, but it’s something that’s been on my mind a lot this past week. I have sometimes been jokingly told in my life that I’m too content, complacent, even. This is usually related to sensory things like food and clothing, as I’m more of an ideas/imaginative thinker and don’t prioritize concrete, sensory things very much. It’s rare that I don’t appreciate a meal, for instance, so long as it hasn’t gone bad. It’s sustenance and I’m grateful for that. I’ve been grappling lately with when we should want to grow and change and when to practice gratitude and contentment.

Some choices are clear with this. I think that situations that involve harm to others or any kind of immorality require growth and change. In contrast, I think that, when it comes to living an overly-consumerist lifestyle and in situations where we are always looking outward for the “next fix”, we might do well to practice more contentment and be more grateful for what we already have.

So I guess my question is, if you could pick one way to live your life, would it be a life of growth and change, or a life of contentment and gratitude? Why? Or, do you have a way that combines both growth and contentment?

You Are Good Enough

Shared from Quotes ‘nd Notes 

Why I Don’t Depend on Concrete Goals

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There have been many times in my life when I wasn’t sure “how far” I wanted to take something. This has especially been the case with things that are a challenge. Blogging is a perfect example. I would love nothing more than to sit around blogging all day every day. The fact is I’m just not there yet. I don’t have the knowledge, the time, or the means to make that happen… yet.

Still, I get a lot of enjoyment from working on my blogging skills. I like honing the craft. I read blogs about blogging. I try new things. I enjoy thinking up new topics to write about. I take feedback seriously.

It can be very comforting to have a defined goal in life, to know exactly what we want to do and where we want to go. However, when that goal doesn’t work out, it’s tough. Sometimes, life just gets in the way of what we want. Personally, I prefer to look at every day as an opportunity for growth. I have been trying to be open to different options in life, because you just never know when something will come along that is the perfect opportunity.

This isn’t to say to not ever have goals, but rather to be flexible and to enjoy the journey. If we learned something new today or we got a little farther along in the direction we wanted to go than we were yesterday, well, isn’t that success? If we tried our hardest, failed, and decided to find another door that was open for us, well, isn’t that a success, too? To me, success is being able to stand back up and try again, or to move just a little bit farther, having faith that we are right where we need to be at that moment.

Was there ever a time when you had a failure that ultimately resulted in a success?

 

 

Fairy Tale Forest

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I shared this on Facebook but wanted to share it here as well. Be sure to check out these stunning photos of a “fairy tale forest” from National Geographic. They are enchanting and just so beautiful! The artist is Ellie Davies:

Inside a Real-Life Fairy Tale Forest

Is Wellness “Alternative Medicine?” (Wellness Spells Series)

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I’ll admit, nothing quite grinds my gears like a conversation about alternative medicine. I think this is largely because I usually take a middle line between extreme approaches to the subject and… people don’t like that. So I get grief from both sides. In fact, I’ve gotten to a place where I generally avoid conversations about alternative medicine altogether. I guess we all have our Achilles heel; alternative medicine conversations seem to be mine. But what better reason to talk about it, right?

First off, what is alternative medicine? I think this is part of the discrepancy, at least for me, as I seem to run into two very different definitions online:

The first definition is any medicine that has not been scientifically proven to be effective, or has been scientifically disproved.

The second definition is any medicine that is not considered part of mainstream medicine.

Here, I think, is where the issues begin. I’ve heard it said so many times: “Alternative medicine that is scientifically proven is just medicine.” That’s all good and well, but where do wellness practices that have been scientifically-proven to be effective, yet are not incorporated into “mainstream” medicine fall?

To give just a few examples:

  • Meditation has been found to reduce anxiety.
  • Yoga has physical and mental health benefits.
  • There are a number of natural herbs and remedies that have been effective for literally thousands of years against various ailments.
  • And let’s not forget the importance of a plant-based diet in terms of our health.

Sure, in fairness, there are plenty of alternative practices that have not been scientifically proven or have even been disproved, and are being marketed by naive-but-well-intended salespeople at best and snake oil salesmen at worst. Who wants to fork over tons of money for a “remedy” that doesn’t work or is even harmful to us? Then there are herbal supplements that are largely unregulated. Certainly it makes sense to avoid those and stick to traditional medicine, then, right?

Here’s the problem with that plan, though. Traditional Western medicine tends to be illness-focused. It’s primary goal, at least as it plays out in the healthcare system, is the diagnosis and treatment of illnesses.

Traditional Western medicine tends NOT to be wellness-focused. There is not a strong focus on prevention, or on improving our wellness, or on looking at the body as a holistic system, at least not in practice.

If you are like me, most of your doctors visits follow this trend:

Symptoms>Diagnosis>Medication

I can count on one hand the number of times I was asked about my diet, or asked about the stress of my lifestyle, or if I rested when I felt ill, or really had any treatments or practices recommended to me other than medication. It’s happened, but it’s been rare.

If we are always only focusing on illness, we are essentially playing a game of wack-a-mole with our health, beating down diseases when they arise, but not looking at the full picture of what we can do to be truly healthy.

Now, I will point out that this varies significantly depending on what part of the world, or even what part of the US, you live in. I live in the American South, so I can only speak to my own experience. I have had others in different parts of the world say their experience is completely different. If you do live in an area that incorporates lots of wellness practices, great! I think -or hope- we will all be headed in that direction eventually.

This isn’t to blame doctors, or other healthcare professionals, either. I think there are several reasons for this mindset. For one thing, it’s the way we have always viewed and practiced health. It’s hard to change an ingrained system attached to a trillion-dollar industry. For another, healthcare is expensive for patients. We often don’t go to the doctor unless we have tried several home remedies ourselves, if even then. For another, there are lifestyle issues. I can’t hold American doctors responsible for the American diet when many of them fight so hard to oppose it, and we as patients don’t always take the time to ask questions about our wellness. And then there are just legal issues, like needing a diagnosis for insurance reasons or having limited time to spend with each patient.

One top of that, some of us received more quality health education in schools than others. Some of us live in food deserts where we don’t have access to healthy food. Then the surge of issues like heart disease and diabetes can be so overwhelming that a wellness focus may seem like a distant dream. And we are all inundated every day with ads and commercials for unhealthy food. So, it’s not a one-size-fits-all answer and there’s plenty of blame to go around.

On the flip side of the illness-focused industry are those who have jumped on the wellness bandwagon and have become opposed to traditional medicine altogether. Let’s be clear: medication is not bad; far from it. Many medications, like insulin, are essential in keeping people alive. Vaccinations prevent the spread of deadly diseases. Anxiety medication can curb severe chronic disorders. I would never, ever, advocate not following a medical professional’s advice, especially with regards to life-saving medication. Furthermore, it isn’t helpful to deny legitimate scientific findings, whether they support the evidence of traditional medicine or more alternative methods.

The “wellness bandwagon” can become especially problematic when it comes to mental illness. Yes, diet, exercise, and sleep have a positive impact on mental health. However, there is often an impression that if a person with severe depression would “just exercise” they would feel better. Here’s my tip: if you wouldn’t suggest something to someone with a life-threatening physical illness, please don’t suggest it to someone with a mental illness. That person with severe depression may need their antidepressants to live just as much as a cancer patient needs chemotherapy. In the quest towards holistic medicine, persons with mental illnesses seem to be the first to be demonized. It’s important to trust that those persons with mental illness have worked through a treatment plan with their doctors, just as we would for someone with a physical illness.

Ultimately, I think what we need is to move away from the term “alternative medicine” with regards to scientifically-proven wellness practices and to use terms like holistic medicine, preventative medicine, and complementary medicine. In that way, we can distinguish between valid, but underused, practices and those which truly have no scientific validity. From there, we can begin to address our bodies as holistic systems that might need a combination of diet, exercise, meditation and other wellness practices, and sometimes traditional medications as well in order to optimally function.

So, a few tips:

  • Consider finding an accredited, holistic medical practitioner who is willing to discuss the wellness of your body as a whole, including diet and potentially non-traditional practices like meditation or home remedies. Or, if your traditional family doctor doesn’t bring it up on their own, express an interest. Who knows? They may be thrilled that you are trying to be proactive about your health.
  • If you use a wellness method, consider doing some research on your own to check the scientific validity or your practice. Some practices, like acupuncture, or massage, have produced some limited results but may or may not be helpful in treating your particular ailment.
  • Consider the cultural history of your wellness practice. “Exotic” does not automatically equate to more effective and in turn may be disrespectful to other cultures. On the flip side, be aware of how making fun of other cultural practices may come across to those within that culture. For more on this, check out my post on Elitism and Wellness. 
  • Don’t shell out tons of money for something that promises to be a miracle cure. You will get much better results from good sleep, moderate exercise, and eating a largely plant-based diet.
  • Don’t quit taking any medication, especially life-saving medication, because of alternative medicine. Don’t avoid important preventative practices like vaccinations. Discuss any concerns about this with your doctor. If you have a wellness practice that is helpful to you and you have a serious illness, it may be that you can incorporate your practice with your traditional medication for a more holistic approach.
  • Don’t judge or blame others who need traditional medication to live or to have a good quality of life. This is especially important for “invisible” illnesses such as depression or chronic pain.

Today’s Wellness Spell is:

Be your own advocate.

By this I mean, take your health into your own hands. Do the research and check your sources carefully. Look at the original studies. Come to your doctor’s with a list of questions. Put in the work needed to make your body healthy. Don’t turn away from a truth about health simply because it makes you uncomfortable, whether about traditional or less traditional practices. Recognize that your body is a system and treat it as such.

Any additional thoughts that I didn’t cover? Let me know in the comments below.

C.S. Lewis quote

The Power of Failure

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This week I am intending to fail at something. By this I don’t mean that I will purposefully try not to succeed. Rather, I mean that I will purposefully go out of my comfort zone. When we are afraid of failure, we tend to remain stagnant. By embracing failure as the occasional inevitability, we can push ourselves as human beings to the very edge of our capacity.

When we fail, and the world still turns, and our lives keep going, and our friends and family are still by our side, we realize a fundamental truth: nothing we strive for is as pressingly important in the big scheme of things as we try to make it seem. All we can really hope to do is strive to be the best that we can be.

Think of your favorite heroes in your favorite books, or in real life. What makes them human is not their successes, but their failures. We don’t admire our heroes because they kept succeeding. We admire them because they fell and got back up again. To me, there is nothing more brave than being willing to fail. This means facing our own inadequacies head on, embracing our own imperfections, embracing our very greatest fears and yet being willing to grow past them and fight for the life we want, even when it is difficult to do so.

Is there something you can do this week that you will fail at? What will this teach you?

A-pleasure-is-not-full

“Is This Normal?” (Wellness Spells Series)

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When I used to work for a mental health nonprofit, I would get asked a question from time to time. It went something like this: “I do this strange behavior and I’m worried that I may be mentally ill. Is this behavior normal?”

Now, not being a licensed clinician, I couldn’t give medical advice, and I would tell them so and refer them to a clinician, but I would also ask them how the behavior made them feel. There was a reason I asked that particular question, though, and I will explain why.

There are many different definitions of “abnormal.” One is, quite simply, not adhering to the norm. So, these would be the behaviors at the far end of a bell curve, so to speak. The problem with this definition of “abnormal” is that it isn’t inherently bad. A person with high intelligence would be abnormal. A person who has unusually good well-being would be abnormal. A person who has very high emotional intelligence would be abnormal. In fact, many notable public figures would be abnormal in some way or another, whether through their creativity, their wittiness, or their strength of character. So you see, simply not adhering to the “norm” is not a bad thing at all, psychologically speaking. To compound the confusion with this, what is considered “the norm” varies across cultures anyway.

A second definition of “abnormal,” the one that is often used as part of a mental illness diagnosis, is that which is maladaptive; i.e. more harmful than helpful. These behaviors can cause harm or distress to self or others. If a behavior or thought pattern is causing a person distress, preventing them from being able to live a full life, preventing them from being able to form healthy relationships, or putting others at risk, then that behavior or thought pattern may be something that needs to be addressed by a mental health professional. Just as there is no reason to live with a physical illness that is impairing our ability to thrive if we can help it, we do not need to limit ourselves by ignoring the symptoms of a potential mental illness, either.

So, it’s always good to double-check with a licensed clinician if you think you may have a mental health condition, but it can help to ask yourself how the behavior or thought pattern makes you feel. Is it causing you distress? Is it preventing you from being able to hold down a job or concentrate in class? Are you worried about hurting yourself or others?** Is it interfering with your relationships? Then it is something you want to see a licensed professional about.

By all means, get a professional opinion if you have a behavior or thought that is concerning you. But, consider that it’s okay to be quirky, or eccentric, or to think outside the box. To me, that’s what having an Enchanted Outlook is all about. If we all thought exactly the same, what a boring world that would be! Our differences in perspective and thought are what make us human. And remember: it’s possible to be both “abnormal” and have excellent mental well-being.

So, I intended to make another wellness spell to go with this one, but I sat here for maybe twenty minutes because I was concerned about the ethics of summing this one up TOO concisely. So- feel free to make your own wellness spell if you would like. Something to do with accepting yourself. But also taking care of yourself. And seeking a second opinion if needed. But being okay with having your own unique perspective. Unless that perspective is bothering you. Or hurting someone else. And ultimately knowing that it’s important to do the safest thing.

Oh goodness. Maybe this should just be a nonverbal spell. Anyway, remember to practice self-love and take care of you.

**If you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or others, please call 911 or your equivalent emergency services, or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK or the online crisis chat at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/Both services are free, confidential, and available 24/7.

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