When I used to work for a mental health nonprofit, I would get asked a question from time to time. It went something like this: “I do this strange behavior and I’m worried that I may be mentally ill. Is this behavior normal?”
Now, not being a licensed clinician, I couldn’t give medical advice, and I would tell them so and refer them to a clinician, but I would also ask them how the behavior made them feel. There was a reason I asked that particular question, though, and I will explain why.
There are many different definitions of “abnormal.” One is, quite simply, not adhering to the norm. So, these would be the behaviors at the far end of a bell curve, so to speak. The problem with this definition of “abnormal” is that it isn’t inherently bad. A person with high intelligence would be abnormal. A person who has unusually good well-being would be abnormal. A person who has very high emotional intelligence would be abnormal. In fact, many notable public figures would be abnormal in some way or another, whether through their creativity, their wittiness, or their strength of character. So you see, simply not adhering to the “norm” is not a bad thing at all, psychologically speaking. To compound the confusion with this, what is considered “the norm” varies across cultures anyway.
A second definition of “abnormal,” the one that is often used as part of a mental illness diagnosis, is that which is maladaptive; i.e. more harmful than helpful. These behaviors can cause harm or distress to self or others. If a behavior or thought pattern is causing a person distress, preventing them from being able to live a full life, preventing them from being able to form healthy relationships, or putting others at risk, then that behavior or thought pattern may be something that needs to be addressed by a mental health professional. Just as there is no reason to live with a physical illness that is impairing our ability to thrive if we can help it, we do not need to limit ourselves by ignoring the symptoms of a potential mental illness, either.
So, it’s always good to double-check with a licensed clinician if you think you may have a mental health condition, but it can help to ask yourself how the behavior or thought pattern makes you feel. Is it causing you distress? Is it preventing you from being able to hold down a job or concentrate in class? Are you worried about hurting yourself or others?** Is it interfering with your relationships? Then it is something you want to see a licensed professional about.
By all means, get a professional opinion if you have a behavior or thought that is concerning you. But, consider that it’s okay to be quirky, or eccentric, or to think outside the box. To me, that’s what having an Enchanted Outlook is all about. If we all thought exactly the same, what a boring world that would be! Our differences in perspective and thought are what make us human. And remember: it’s possible to be both “abnormal” and have excellent mental well-being.
So, I intended to make another wellness spell to go with this one, but I sat here for maybe twenty minutes because I was concerned about the ethics of summing this one up TOO concisely. So- feel free to make your own wellness spell if you would like. Something to do with accepting yourself. But also taking care of yourself. And seeking a second opinion if needed. But being okay with having your own unique perspective. Unless that perspective is bothering you. Or hurting someone else. And ultimately knowing that it’s important to do the safest thing.
Oh goodness. Maybe this should just be a nonverbal spell. Anyway, remember to practice self-love and take care of you.
**If you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or others, please call 911 or your equivalent emergency services, or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK or the online crisis chat at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. Both services are free, confidential, and available 24/7.