I’ve been thinking a lot of language choice lately and I decided to share three of my favorite word swaps. These are simple changes we can make in our language which make huge changes in our perspective.
Swap “Can’t” for “Don’t”
I found this one online; it was confirmed through a study done by Boston College. This one is particularly helpful if you are having trouble with boundaries, with telling people “no” or having trouble sticking to a goal. Instead of “I can’t go to the party,” try “I don’t go to parties.” Instead of “I can’t have soda” which can feel like depriving yourself of something you want, try “I don’t drink soda” which incorporates this into who you are: you are a person who doesn’t drink soda. In this way it affirms your own willpower.
Swap “Should” for “Want” or “Will” or “Feel”
This is one I learned from a counselor years ago. Is there any word that makes us feel more guilty and less in control than “should?” It brings to light the gap between all the things we aren’t and all the things we wish we were. Swap “I should work out” for “I will work out.” Swap “I should visit my family” for “I want to visit them.” If that doesn’t do the trick, connect to the reason you want to do those things with “because”, i.e. “I will work out because I love being healthy” or “I want to visit my family because I love them.”
And then finally, “feel.” Are you “shoulding yourself” because you are avoiding difficult feelings about obligations that you need to confront? Maybe you are telling yourself “I should hang out with this person” instead of admitting, “I don’t feel good around this person.” Being honest with your feelings can help you live your happiest life.
Swap “Spend” for “Invest”
I mentioned this one in my New Year’s Resolution. This is probably my favorite swap. To spend is to pay out money. To invest, in contrast, carries with it the expectation for growth. You spend money at a fast food chain. You invest in healthy foods at home. You spend money on new clothes you don’t need, but you invest in a quality wardrobe. Before I make a purchase, I like to ask myself, “Is this an investment?”
These words are all a work in progress for me, but I encourage you to try them and see just how much your perspective can change from these three simple swaps.
January 26, 2017 at 11:05 am
I like this idea!
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January 26, 2017 at 11:18 am
I’m glad you like it! Thanks for stopping by.
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January 26, 2017 at 11:26 am
No problem!
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January 26, 2017 at 11:18 am
My investment in my daughters is definitely paying off 😉 Dad
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January 26, 2017 at 11:20 am
It better be! You put a lot of time and money into those slackers. 😉
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January 26, 2017 at 12:13 pm
BTW – is that Scrabble game in another language?
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January 26, 2017 at 12:16 pm
Yes, but I got it off stocksnap and it didn’t say which language and it’s driving me nuts. Looks like an Eastern European language?
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January 27, 2017 at 4:56 pm
Word swaps are such a great idea! It’s a great way to replace negativity with positivity in your life. Thanks for the tips!
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January 29, 2017 at 7:49 pm
You are very welcome; I’m glad you liked them!
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January 29, 2017 at 7:56 am
Wonderful ideas. Even I have difficulty saying no at times and it takes me a lot of effort to figure out how to say so. Also like the swapping of ‘spend’ with ‘invest’ idea 🙂
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January 29, 2017 at 7:47 pm
Thank you. I have trouble saying no as well; I was happy to come across that tip.
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January 29, 2017 at 9:23 am
It is really helpful. It is more affirmative way of communication. I would keep checking for more :).
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January 29, 2017 at 7:46 pm
Thank you. I am looking to add more simple word swaps after I master these three; will share my results.
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January 30, 2017 at 4:34 am
I liked it while reading it was making a difference. So surely it will affect our perspective in daily life.
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January 30, 2017 at 2:33 pm
Thank you. I hope it will; it has for me.
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January 30, 2017 at 9:49 pm
That sounds like good fun, I used to play scrabble a lot. That looks similar, I think I would enjoy playing the Three Word Swap game.
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February 17, 2017 at 9:31 pm
Thanks for the share!
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