I’m going a bit off the beaten path today because I just found out my state of Virginia is proposing a bathroom bill similar to that of North Carolina. Against my better judgement, I veered into the comments section of a local news post on the subject. The number one complaint was, “What about my daughter? I don’t want my daughter in the bathroom with some man!”
Here is my response for those who are citing concern for their daughters as a reason to support this bill:
- If you care about your daughter, teach her to be an empathetic person. Encourage her to read. Encourage her to learn. Encourage her to ask questions about the world. Encourage her to make friends from all walks of life. Encourage her to be the type of person you can be proud of.
- If you care about your daughter, teach her to be an ally. Teach her to be the kind of person who knows the plight of transgender people and will stand up for their rights. If she ends up being transgender herself, she will thank you for being so accepting and this will help her (his) own journey as well.
- If you care about your daughter, raise her to think critically. Ask her questions. Get her a subscription to National Geographic or sit down and watch some documentaries with her. See what she thinks. Encourage her to pursue the facts relentlessly. Teach her about media bias.
- If you care about your daughter, teach her how women should be treated. Be a good example and role model for your family. Let her know what to expect in a healthy relationship. Support politicians and community leaders who value women’s rights and treat women with respect.
- If you care about your daughter (and all daughters in the world), educate your son. Raise him to be respectful to women. Raise him to be the kind of son you would trust one hundred percent alone in a room with a woman he doesn’t know. Raise him to be a feminist and to stand up for equal rights for women. Raise him to respect jobs traditionally held by women, such as secretarial positions, nursing, teaching, and stay-at-home parenting, and teach him the value of these roles. And raise him to respect women who are in traditionally male-dominated workplaces as well.
- If you care about your daughter, teach her to fight. Teach her to fight for her rights. Teach her to fight for equal pay. Teach her to fight for her own body. And yes, teach her how to fight physically, so that maybe if she sees a transgender person being beaten in a bathroom one day, she can swing that ponytail and darn well do something about it.
To learn more about bathroom risks and transgender rights, check out these links below:
http://time.com/4314896/transgender-bathroom-bill-male-predators-argument/
http://www.hrc.org/resources/transgender-faq
http://www.glaad.org/transgender/transfaq
January 5, 2017 at 2:32 pm
AMEN from a fellow Virginian š
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January 5, 2017 at 4:38 pm
Incredible post! The magical mixture of emotion & intellect. Encouraging us all to open our hearts & minds to what is, and what always has been. The only difference now is that we have no excuse – we must rise up & support each other. No matter our differences. Love & empathy heals all. šš«
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January 5, 2017 at 4:42 pm
Thanks so much! I agree 100%; it’s more important now than ever.
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January 6, 2017 at 9:44 am
Probably my favorite post I’ve ever seen people need to be taught to explore issues like this, be compassionate but still know how to look after them self if they do feel someone is using this brilliant new law in the wrong way.
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January 6, 2017 at 10:19 am
Wow, favorite post is truly an honor; it means a lot to me that this hit home with you to that extent. If it is any comfort to you, it looks like the Virginia governor is going to veto this bill. Texas is fighting a similar battle, though. I think all any of us can do is keep being a force for good. Thanks for stopping by!
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January 13, 2017 at 8:08 pm
Brilliant, and so moving!! But more than that, such an important message as we head into a time when there seems to be less empathy and understanding. Thank you for writing this.
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January 13, 2017 at 8:11 pm
Thanks for reading. I’m glad it resonated with you.
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January 14, 2017 at 12:25 am
Called by to leave my thanks for your recent decision to follow Learning from Dogs. Very much appreciated.
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January 14, 2017 at 12:27 am
Of course! I’m a huge dog lover and can’t wait to read more! Thanks for stopping by.
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January 14, 2017 at 12:31 am
Please feel free to contribute a guest post for I know my followers will enjoy that.
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January 14, 2017 at 12:38 am
Oh great- I might have some ideas for that. I will look into it and let you know.
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January 17, 2017 at 9:18 am
I have never read such a well written blog about teaching your children how to be wise, good, compassionate, strong people!! Well said and thank you!!
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January 17, 2017 at 12:09 pm
Well thank you very much! I’m honored that what I wrote meant that much to you.
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January 17, 2017 at 5:15 pm
You did a great job!
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January 21, 2017 at 10:55 pm
As someone close to this issue, it’s encouraging to see this kind of pragmatic outlook. I wish that more people would see things this way. The majority of folks seem to be on the correct side of this issue, but unfortunately, most remain silent, allowing those opposed to control the discussion (and often the legislation). Thank you for sharing your thoughts. š
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January 21, 2017 at 11:24 pm
I’m glad it resonated with you; that really does mean a lot to me. I just keep reminding myself that, to quote Gandhi, that we must all be the change we wish to see in the world.
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January 22, 2017 at 1:41 am
I’m so sick of the bathroom thing, but this made me smile. Thanks. It’s incredibly hard for transpeople to get up the courage to go into the bathroom we identify with. I’m afraid of getting beaten up.
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January 22, 2017 at 8:24 am
I am so sorry. You shouldn’t have to go through that, but please know that there are people who stand with you and support you.
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January 27, 2017 at 5:09 pm
Transguy from Texas here: We are currently battling our own “Bathroom Bill” here in the Lone Star state. Thank you for such a thoughtful piece on values that matter. It’s important, too, I think, to remember who these bills really target: trans women who don’t pass as well. No one talks about trans men and what bathroom they should use, no. These bills attack an already at-risk group: trans women. The passage of these bills would increase violence and discrimination against my sisters. Posts like this are uplifting because they remind me of what the future could look like. Teaching love to our children is our best offense. Thank you for sharing.
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January 29, 2017 at 7:48 pm
Thank you. I hadn’t thought about that but you are absolutely right. No one does talk about trans men.
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February 24, 2017 at 11:03 pm
Great post! Like minded lady: https://goldisfromaliens.com/2017/02/24/2017-and-the-return-of-the-flask/
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March 1, 2017 at 10:43 am
Thanks! I will check it out.
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