Yesterday, I was struggling to make a daily gratitude post because I was sad.
I was sad as a woman who has been groped and called derogatory things and followed late at night and intimidated and talked down to.
I was sad as a person in an inter-racial marriage, who has dealt with ignorant and sometimes judgemental comments.
I was sad as a person currently waiting on the results of an important medical test, the outcome of which may now determine whether or not I can get insurance in the future.
I was sad for all the people I know who now fear for their own wellbeing and even their lives.
I was sad as a lover of fantasy literature, which endlessly echoes the mantra that love, kindness and goodness prevail.
I was not feeling grateful. But then, I realized, ironically, that I am grateful for sadness. I am grateful that I know and understand that holistic mental health doesn’t just consist of positive emotions. I am grateful that I am able to feel and express a variety of emotions. I am grateful for a country where I have the freedom of speech to express those emotions. I am grateful for my writing passion which gives me an outlet to express those emotions.
Gratitude is important to happiness. But, so is sadness, and so many other feelings. Most importantly, being honest with ourselves and acknowledging the validity of our own feelings is vital to the human experience. It doesn’t mean that we are bitter or hateful or disrespectful. It just means that we feel sad.
So today, I am grateful that I don’t have to feel grateful. That can wait for another day.
November 10, 2016 at 5:57 pm
Well said. You are not alone in your sadness about the election.
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November 10, 2016 at 5:58 pm
Thanks. I’m sure I’ll find a way to move forward in a few days, but for now I’m just going to wallow a bit.
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November 10, 2016 at 6:04 pm
Right. I’m curious to know how moving forward is going to look though…it’s like we’ve woken this sleeping giant of violence. And we’ll probably be dealing with the repercussions for a while. That might sound negative but I think it’s the reality. We’ll just take it day by day and keep speaking up.
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November 10, 2016 at 6:11 pm
Oh I completely agree. I don’t think the world will look anything like I, or a lot of people, want it to be for a while. I think for me, the saving graces will be a combination of activism and transcendence; in other words, knowing when to take action and feel some sense of efficacy, and when to… meditate? check out? focus on the big, big picture? Focus on my own inner light? Not sure what the right way to put that is. Either way I don’t think I’m at the point where I can really do either just yet.
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November 10, 2016 at 6:20 pm
Makes total sense. I think it will be a combination for me as well. I don’t know if you follow Doreen Virtue at all but one of the things she says is that the most important thing is for us to keep our peace. So if being in peace amidst this chaos means focusing on our own inner light, that’s totally valid.
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November 10, 2016 at 10:28 pm
Great post. I share your sadness for all the same reasons, and gratefulness that I can own my feelings.
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December 10, 2016 at 4:12 pm
I like what you said about being grateful for sadness. It sounds paradoxical at first, but there’s something to it. Like you said, a person does have to be honest with themselves.
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December 10, 2016 at 8:15 pm
Thanks. And yes it is paradoxical; I think because we have this idea that because some emotions are negative, they are therefore bad. This simply isn’t true. Much as we may dislike rainy days, we need the water for nourishment. To me, sadness is like that rainy day.
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